Lilla.

Yesterday I had a moment. I thought, "God, why did you make me this way? Am I of any use to you? Wouldn't I be better off as someone else?" I was being convicted. It was much needed but I don't know of anyone who actually enjoys the actual feeling of extreme conviction. But as usual, He redeemed me. By the end of the night I was reminded of my purpose. Reminded why I am here. And reassured that I am who I am for a specific reason. 

Psalm 139 may just be my all-time favorite chapter of the Bible. Or it's up there. I have been reading through the book of Psalms since Thanksgiving. Last night happened to be night 139. These poems have followed me throughout these past few months. They have been there for my highs as well as my lows. Last night it hit my mood spot on. 

I recommend you read the entire thing. I cannot push this enough. 

These particular verses spoke to me. They don't call it the Living Word for nothing. 

"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well"

(13-14)

Thank you, Father, for always saving me. Constantly. Every single moment you rescue me from the depths and bring me back into the light.