Growing up.

Hi everyone. 

Sorry for not updating more often. All this time I wanted my next post to be of photos of my room, but either the light wasn't right or my room was too messy to be photographed. I finally got around to taking some photos yesterday. They're by no means the best, but just to give you a little visual. I am so happy in my new space. It is truly comfortable. A sanctuary. And only after two weeks. I feel safe here and oh so happy!

I almost have all the pieces to the puzzle. New friends, a place to live in the city I've always dreamed of, constant and overflowing inspiration. I just need a real job. It's much more difficult than I expected. Even more so because I love so many things and trying to figure out which one of those things would make a career for me is next to impossible. 

I'm learning every day how blessed I am to have a strong support system. I'm learning that perseverance is easier said than done. Looking for jobs is a workout and I'm pretty sore. But I will not give up. I know the Lord is on my side and He has a reason for every situation and every trial. Please pray I can find the last piece to the puzzle. So I can know I am here to stay for years to come. 

Home.

It's cliche, but I'm going to say it. Home is where the heart is. But my heart is never in one place. It splits and breaks off in places all over the world. Everywhere I make a memory, there is a little chunk, never to leave. There are pieces of me in Firenze, Raleigh, Columbia, Atlantic Beach, Kinston, and the list goes on. And now my heart resides in Brooklyn. This past weekend my family drove to the big city, followed by a large u-haul and everything I need to make a home here. We labored all weekend and now I'm sitting on my couch, listening to Vampire Weekend on vinyl, sipping a beer, and waiting for the butter beans my mom brought me to be ready (isn't she the best?). This is unreal. I don't know when it will feel real, but right now I am in a cloud of awe. I am filled with gratitude, to every inch of my body. I don't deserve any of this…a wonderful family, friends, a new, beautiful home…yet my Lord provided all of this and continues to blow my mind daily. This is real. This is my Brooklyn chapter. And I am so excited to share it with all of you. Enjoy. 

I am beyond blessed to have an apartment with three, count them, THREE windows with lovely windowsills. I plan to make the most of this beautiful feature. These are photos of what I have now, though the beauty is most likely to grow. How can you not love this, though? Stay tuned for photos of the whole place for your enjoyment. 

Have a great day! 

Over My Head.

Let me introduce you to my mantra. It is my constant reminder that we are not called to be comfortable in this life. There is adventure out there, but most of the time finding it involves getting in over your head. I am in New York now, as you may have seen on my instagram (@makenagranger). I've been staying in the most adorable apartment, making some new friends, and chasing dreams. It's not all easy, though. I've been learning that growing up and entering the real world is really hard. I miss the comforts of home. I miss my lack of responsibilities. And I'll be honest with you, sometimes I'm pretty scared. But I know those comforts aren't meant to last forever. If I stay in a bubble, there is so much I will never learn about the world and life. I won't learn to appreciate the great things I have and chase after the great things I'm called to find. 

New York has been great. But more importantly, God has been great and will continue to be. He has provided not necessarily in the ways I would expect. He has been teaching me to rely on Him more than I ever have before. I am so helpless in this life and I'm grateful that He is in control and has provided me with an incredible support system. When I'm feeling lost, He is with me. When I'm confused or frustrated, He helps me. 

"The Lord is my helper; 

I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?"

Hebrews 13:6

There is lots of exciting news to come, but I want to wait to share it with you. I will tell you that I have an internship at a wonderful PR agency. I begin work tomorrow! I have met some pretty amazing people and explored the city even more than the last time I was here. God is very very good and I can't wait to share with you what else He does while I'm here. 

Until next time…don't be afraid to get in over your head. You may just learn something new about yourself and have a grand adventure in the process. 

Watch in Hope.

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

Micah 7:7

I thought I would take this Sunday to share a little faith post. Today, thanks to the wonderful generosity of my aunt, I am flying to NYC to look for jobs. As I've shared before, it has been my dream for a while to move to this big city to live and work. This time of limbo post-graduation has been grueling to say the least. The Lord has taught me a lot about patience and trusting in His plan. 

I know that many of you are in or have been in similar situations and to you I say this: His plan is so much better than you could possibly imagine. I say this to myself as well. We don't know what the future holds. We are not in control of a single thing in our lives. Not a single thing. Instead of being frustrated by this, find rest! The God of the Universe is in control of your life. Would you really want it any other way? 

Find rest today. 

On Graduating.

These photos are from my graduation weekend. I can’t believe my college career is over. I’ve moved home since then, in the hopes of moving to NYC by the end of the summer. The job search is hard, y’all. The Lord has shown me throughout this year that He wants me to be in New York City. At least, that’s what I think He’s saying. Closed doors can speak pretty loudly. But I have my doubts. I have my moments of discouragement. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I just want to give up. 

He has put these verses on my heart that have helped me greatly and I hope they help you too, for whatever situation you may be in. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

The Lord knows this life has its struggles, but He is with us in the storm! How great is that? I love that I have a God willing to walk with me, maybe even carry me through. Don’t lose hope, my friends. The God of the universe is on your side. 

Up In The Air.

I'm sure everyone at some point in his or her life has experienced the feeling of being up in the air, literally or figuratively. For me, it's figuratively and very strong. As I approach my graduation date (45 days and counting), the decisions I am going to have to make seem to be screaming in my face. Where will I live? What will I do? Will I be happy? It's terrifying and exhausting and there isn't much I can do about it other than network like crazy and wait. 

I read a verse yesterday morning that was the exact reassurance I have been craving. Why I ever take breaks from reading Jesus Calling, I will never know. 

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; 

I will help you."

Hebrews 41:13

HE WILL HELP US. How beautiful is that? Can we just all mull over this perfect love today and every day? 

He is with us. Holding our hands. Walking us through the fire. He is up in the air with us. We may feel like there is nothing holding us down or nothing supporting us in these times of change, but there He is, walking with us every single step of the way. 

Have a good one. A blessed one. 

He is Good.

25“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:25-33

Since the revamping of my blog, on the few post that I've had, you may have been wondering why I didn't have any Bible verses on them. Or maybe you weren't. I don't want to make any assumptions. Either way, I have a confession to make. And maybe this isn't a bad thing to you, but it is to me...I had just been picking random verses that had come up in daily devotionals or quiet times to fill the gap. It wasn't necessarily that the verse had had any resonance with me personally. I think that's not OK. I don't want to give off the impression that I am having major spiritual experiences on a daily basis because that would be a lie. So from now on, I am only posting verses that have actually symbolized the Spirit speaking. I want to be honest with you. This blog has always served to document my spiritual journey, but I want it to be as accurate as possible. 

I am making a goal, however, to have at least one spiritual post a week. Holding myself accountable to be digging into the word and searching for answers. These posts are for my sharing of thoughts and insights and I hope that you will comment below with your own beliefs or testimonies. You don't have to. But wouldn't that be cool...

So, back to that big chunk of verses cited in the beginning of this post. Matthew 6:25-33 was mentioned in last night's sermon and it's seriously one of my favorite passages. It's a lot of people's favorite, I'm sure.

 It served to be increasingly relevant last night as I have spent most of the weekend applying to jobs. I made a big, fat list of 208 PR firms in 13+ different cities across the US and began applying to them. One-by-one. Let me say, it's exhausting. I've got about 15 firms down and ~35 jobs applications sent. 

In this process, though, the Lord has been showing me how little control I have. I hate this analogy, but "you've got to throw a lot of spaghetti at the wall before something sticks," right? But I have no control of what sticks. I might see the most beautiful boutique PR form in Portland (see: Leopold Ketel) and dream of working there, but I cannot make the executive decision for them. All I can do is apply, sit, and wait. I may end up living in Raleigh or...dare I say it...Columbia...for a few more years or the rest of my life.

I love what was mentioned in #Shereadstruth this morning, "I have to constantly remind myself that God’s character is good and kind and that He has promised us that what is coming is better than what is here now. I have to believe all God’s goodness will be resplendent and wholly satisfying."

That's it right there. He is GOOD and He is IN CONTROL.

*drops mic*

Guiding Me Always.

Here are some pictures I took around campus a while back. My lack of inspiration has continued. I feel like I have nothing about which to blog. I haven't even wanted to get on blogger. I know, it's been a while, but I don't have much to say. 

I do have one new thing, though. I think I want to begin doing book reviews here. Not just a few sentences, real reviews. Expect my first one on The Elegance of the Hedgehog in a few days. 

In other news, Thanksgiving was wonderful for the most part. I have some pictures on that coming later this week. I enjoyed being home, and I am ready to be there for Christmas. I see Thanksgiving break as a tease. It makes me wish I was home to celebrate with my family. I long for decorating the tree, drinking cider, and enjoying the relaxation of the season with my family. But instead I am back at school (there's nothing wrong with that, I do love it here) preparing for finals. In a little over a week I will be packing up my things for good and moving out of the beloved Kappa house for good. My next semester will be taking place in Italy. I still don't believe it's really happening. Me, in Italy, no. For four months? What? 

I can't wait to blog from there, to show you all that I will be doing, all the people I will be meeting. I am more than likely building up this trip in my mind to less than realistic expectations. But whatever happens, I do feel it is where the Lord wants me to be. For whatever reason. 

I read this verse this morning and loved it. No matter how I am feeling, God always meets me where I am. I get so upset, I feel that He is far from me and give up. But every time I come back to Him, He is right there waiting for me and tells me exactly what I need to hear. It's so silly I doubt. Satan plays an awful game. But I thank God that He is stronger. 

The Lord will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame. 

You will be like a well-watered garden, 

like a spring whose waters never fail. 

Isaiah 58:11

Songs of Joy.

I have some big news. Last night was our first Kappa Bible Study. Ashley and I had been preparing for this night for a long time. It was like Bid Day for the Chaplains. All day I had been looking forward to it, and preparing as best as I could. A meeting with the leader of Greek Impact, Kitty, got me even more excited. God provided more than I ever thought He would. I truly had been underestimating His magnificent power. I had this excited feeling, like He was going to surprise me somehow, but I did not fully give into His love. I was still concerned and doubting the turn-out. 

We are studying one of Marian Jordan's books, Sex and the City Uncovered: Exposing the Emptiness and Healing the Hurt. Kitty provided us with ten books, that we could give to the girls for a lesser price. I thought ten was being optimistic. But as 7:15 inched closer and closer, the excitement grew. God was giving me such joy, a joy that seemed to push away the depressing fact that my beloved Golden Retriever has yet to be found. He seemed to whisper, you just wait. Looking back, I feel like I was experiencing a real-life Jesus Calling devotional, except even more magnified. 

And boy, did He come through. We had 19 girls at our first meeting! Possibly a Kappa record? Praise the Lord. He is GOOD! All good. And he has no other idea in mind than your good! He has shown me this week how to trust. How to look only to Him. I had been only putting half my trust in Him, not fully giving in, not relinquishing my desire to control. But when your dog has run away, with no collar, and is eleven years old, there is no control. I have no idea where she is, whom she is with, or even if she is alive. *sob* But I know God is good. I know that He will get me through this and, better still, He will show me His love and mercy through it all. 

So, some many words of encouragement about my life. And one particular verse speaking to me through it all...

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

Psalm 125:5

Casual Monday.

 Welcome to my summer uniform. Michael Stars tank, Levi's shorts, Kork-Ease shoes and Mom's brooch. 

I have been quite the movie connoisseur this weekend. I FINALLY saw the Shawshank Redemption on Saturday night. It was just as fantastic as I had hoped, if not more. And then yesterday I watched Cool Hand Luke. Not my favorite, but Paul Newman was looking good. (lots of prison movies, not intentional.) Last night I spent the night at a good friend's house and we watched Catch Me If You Can. I loved it! Frank Abagnale is a genius. And of course, young Leonardo. What more can I say? 

Church yesterday was just what I needed. It's funny, this has been a hard summer, but when I actually let God in and comfort me He tells me just what I need to hear. I don't know why I ever doubt or run from Him. He is truly all I need, but so often I look to other things for comfort. And they leave me empty and then finally returning to Him. Jesus Calling, my daily devotional, mentioned yesterday that a way to learn to trust Him is to thank Him for as many things as you can. Just see how much you can be thankful for. It is truly surprising, and so uplifting to focus on what you have instead of what you want. 

‎"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s SPECIAL POSSESSION, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 

1 Peter 2:9

Sand, Surf, and Smoke.

I went to the cutest shop in Beaufort, NC called Calypso Cottage. It had all sorts of interior decor, candles, handmade jewelry and cute clothing! Of course I was obsessing over the candles. And I took a few iPhone pictures. 

 Lake House and Towne House. What a cute idea!

 I just loved the whole atmosphere of the shop. And if you're ever in Beaufort, you definitely need to check this place out!

And now for some beachy Pinterest pictures. 

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by the yoke of slavery."

Galatians 5:1

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My Life.

I know I talk about my horse a lot. But seriously, he's one of the best parts of my life. The whole horse world has made a huge impact on my life. Unfortunately, current circumstances have inhibited my competing. Last weekend I got to judge a ring at a local horse show which was a blast. I had the chance to catch up with friends and see all that I have been missing this year. So, here's a glimpse into my world. And some more pictures of the horse who holds my heart. 

 Hardy.

 At the show. 

I have missed that life more than I thought possible. Change seems to have been getting the best of me lately. But there's nothing we can do about it. I am simply along for the ride. 

I hope you enjoy the photos! All taken by me. Sorry for the lack of fashion, my face swelled up again. Apparently one of the sites where my wisdom teeth were removed is infected and I am back on antibiotics. So I haven't felt much like dressing up. 

"Be still and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

This verse applies to every situation imaginable. And easy to remember. 

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