Heartbeats.

I have less than a week in the USA before I leave for four months! I can't believe I am going to Italy. I am ready for the beauty of it all. I am ready for the inspiration. 

Lately, though, I have been feeling inspired by unusual things. It has seemed to be coming from within rather than from the external world. My own thoughts, spiraling out of control, have brought me to new heights. I've been dreaming of Florence, of the summer, of next fall, of the future. I live in the future, on these short days, built on nothing but routine. The Sartorialist has been featuring photos of his time in Florence. I can't wait to get there! Need I say more? 

Yesterday was an interesting one, however. I was craving Jesus. I was craving His presence. I felt myself crying out for Him and feeling nothing in return. It was a tough day. When all I wanted was a word from Him, I heard nothing at all. I was frustrated and tired, wondering what I am doing in this life. If He won't speak to me, for what am I here? 

I have often thought of how God keeps our hearts beating. Every pump of our hearts is initiated by Him. So, in this moment, my hope was in my heart. He was keeping it beating. I learned that sometimes God doesn't use words. Words are man-made. Something to help us get through our time on Earth. Instead of words, God used me to reassure...me. Because at the end of the day, it really is just Him and me.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

P.S. Happy 12th Birthday to the most wonderful, amazing, loving, beautiful, funny dog in the world. 

I love you, Dodger.