Eclectic Equestrian

 So last weekend I decided to go home. I got to spend some much needed time with Hardy.

 We tried these things that looked like Macaroons, I don't think that's what they were, though.

 Dodger.

I found this recipe online for Crispy Potato Bake. It was simple and delicious.

 I was playing with aperture while at the farm.

 Jagger.

 I love this photo of Hardy.

 Cabbige up close.

 He watches me come and go. It makes leaving so difficult.

 Really high aperture, love it.

One of the main reasons I came home, so I could play ABBEY ROAD on my TURNTABLE. Life is good.

So I've been sick since Tuesday. It really is no fun. 

My life source for the past 4 days. My only option left to get rid of this virus is to rest rest rest. So I thought what better time to update the blog. Prayers for healing, please. 

"Surely it was for my benefit

that I suffered such anguish.

In your love you kept me

from the pit of destruction;

you have put all my sins

behind your back." 

Isaiah 38:17

I read this last night, how perfect. It's all for our benefit. He loves us so much. 

Brick Wall.

So I could not sleep a few nights ago. It was like my eyelids refused to close. I had to write something, and here is what I wrote. Forgive the lack of fashion in this post.

It started off early, this wall. Maybe one could say it was built brick by brick, cemented in between along the years. It’s a few feet thick and constantly growing in every direction. As soon as I could communicate, those dreaded bricks were being laid. One more barrier after another. If only I could have stopped it, if that was ever an option. Its curses are endless, but I know nothing else. I cannot recall when this brick entrapment was ever a blessing, but because of it I have formed many. It’s the wall that separates me from regular life. From social circles. From personal relationships.

For years I denied it, thinking I could take it down. I became someone else. Someone who would “fit in.” But it only left me on the opposite side of a wall with no idea who I was. It was in high school, maybe around sophomore year, when I realized I had no choice but to embrace it. By then the wall had grown to great heights. Social barriers stuck out like sore thumbs. My lack of communication and small talk were defining qualities in my personality. I may as well have been speaking another language, at least I would have felt like I had an excuse. But no, I had to come to terms with this wall. I had to accept that I was different. Oh, but little did I know that this would take years to learn and accept.

College has brought it out more than I ever thought possible. And the worst part is sometimes I forget it’s there. Or, rather, it briefly becomes invisible, and right when I am about to walk over the line it reappears and breaks my nose. It comes back with force, and pain. The worst kind of pain. It’s a reminder that I am not normal; I am weird. It tells me, “You cannot be like them, Makena, it’s physically impossible for you to be a normal 18 year old girl, so just accept it and back off.”

I have streaks when I love it, though. Yes, I love the wall. Though these feelings only exist when I am alone, imagine that. I thrive on defining myself. I fall in love with so many parts of life. I dream, boy, do I dream. Dreams are only worth anything in the comfort of my own bedroom. Because then I walk out and there’s that stupid wall causing these desires to come crashing to the floor. Then I don’t know who I am. Or I cannot show who I am, who I have become behind the wall.

Maybe this wall is the reasoning behind my intense love for my horse and the sport in general. They have no dreams so they can never be let down. It’s the perfect environment for imagination. They can watch the clouds all day long and think, with no walls, no interference. Horses have no social etiquette. To them, there is no such thing as a faux pas. With them is the only place I can feel truly comfortable. Well, with them and alone with the Father. He made me this way and I have yet to learn why. Oftentimes I wonder if other people experience this brick wall at times in their lives. I hope I am not the only one. But I would not be surprised if my wall is quite a bit larger than others’.

Now all I want is someone to throw a rope over the heightening wall and join me. It sure would be nice to have some company over here. 

TURNTABLE.

Daddy put the turntable in my room, finally. And yesterday he added a whole new sound system. It's fantastic. I can play both vinyl albums and music from an iPod or laptop. "A Day In The Life" has never sounded better. 

Please notice tumblr on my computer in the last picture. 

I finished The Picture of Dorian Gray on Wednesday. It may just be my new favorite novel. I have fallen in love with Oscar Wilde. 

The other day I read both Isaiah 8 and Psalm 33. I discovered HUGE parallels. Fascinating. Please read them both, I can't post specific verses without eliminating the effect. Though, some common themes were:

Wait on the Lord. He will always come through. 

Fear the Lord and nothing else. All other fears are a waste of energy. 

The plans of the Lord are the only ones that last. 

Happy X-Mas

I think this may have been the best Christmas post-Santa. If not, it's surely up there. Last night at church we heard an incredible sermon entitled "John Lennon, Jesus, and World Peace." Of course I loved it because of John Lennon, right? Yeah, maybe. But it was so much more than that. I learned that oftentimes peace is described as inhibited by religion but actually it's just the opposite. The only way ultimate peace can be possible is through Jesus Christ. And look-ee there, He was born today! How beautiful.

In this post is pictures of Christmas day and the gifts I received. I feel I must share, however, how these photos were taken. My most favorite gift is a Nikon D90. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. Totally unexpected, really. I have never been truly speechless until this morning when I saw it in front of the fireplace.

Daisy (above), Dodger (below)

PRESENTS!

After a lovely Christmas lunch we went to the farm to take care of the horses. The weather was overcast, fantastic for taking pictures. Below is Petey.

Now for the fun part. Well, it was all fun. But still...What I Got For Christmas. 

Pictured are just some of my favorites excluding the clothes. I will wear them and post them some other time. So, clockwise: scented candle (I LOVE the smell), Little Stewie..., beautiful vintage gloves from Taylor, a real coffee maker (I have a Keurig at school but it makes horrible coffee), Reebok EasyTone shoes, a Moleskine notebook, The Beatles Photographic Anthology, vintage necklace and belt from Taylor, David Yurman bracelet, L'Occitane hand cream, Simon & Garfunkel Greatest Hits, The Beatles box set (a.k.a all I will be listening to for the rest of my life), Chanel Rouge Coco lipstick in Gabrielle, mascara sampler from Sephora, Mossimo hat, and Frye Melissa boots. 

Man, I love that camera. The sweater I am wearing is another gift, from Anthropologie. 

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.

Luke 2:11

Merry Christmas everyone! Blessings to you all. 

New York City: A Photo Diary

Got back from a wonderful trip to NYC on Sunday to celebrate my grandfather's 80th birthday. My trip in photos below:

Man, do I want to go back to that magical place. I am surely going to live there at some point in my life, God-willing. 

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, 

you preserve my life. 

You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes;

with your right hand you save me. 

The Lord will vindicate me;

your love, O Lord, endures forever--

do not abandon the works of your hands."

Psalm 138:7-8

He is always there with you, especially in times of trouble. He will give you strength despite all your feelings of weakness. Always.

I just finished The Scarlet Letter-Nathaniel Hawthorne and loved it; I am in a literary mood. Reading classic novels by the fire has been my newfound hobby. Next up: The Portrait of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde.